Dagwood and his outrageous sandwiches?
A slice of this, a piece of that—anything he could find in Blondie’s refrigerator or pantry to pile and stack beyond his ability to bite. He could never have consumed these comic-strip sandwiches without some serious heartburn or possible ptomaine.
But don’t we do the same thing with bruised emotions, broken hearts, or pounds of unresolved anger? We collect a big ole bundle of burden and stack ‘em in the darkness of our hearts, ready to be piled on a monster sandwich-of-sorrow and toted with us 24/7 when we lose a loved one.
And we wonder why we’re done in? Why we can’t do anything but sob or rage? Why our blood pressure goes out the roof? Why we can’t get a handle on life and move forward. Because the loss of a loved one rips scabs off everything we’ve stuffed and hidden and clung to. And that toxic mix has soaked in the acid of anger and unforgiveness, sometimes for years, before morphing into the life-threatening quick-sand of self-pity from which we can’t cry, wiggle, or scream ourselves free.
Let me be concise: Every hurt, pain, scrap of anger, thread of guilt, or wad of deception you’ve stuffed and packed and carried on your life’s journey all these years will rear its ugly head and deter or prevent your working through the loss of a loved one, unless you purpose in your heart to deal with the whole muddle. One step at a time.
We weren’t created to handle the emotional, mental, and physical turmoil and bear up under such a destructive load. God made us in His image…body, soul, and spirit. And you can’t separate one from the other, even though we all try. When a portion of your heart hurts, the pain radiates to every portion of your being. Just like consumed calories spread over our whole anatomy, anger and pain and unforgiveness gobble up the landscape of our hearts, minds, and souls and end up catapulting off our tongues into the lives of others.
But this poison doesn’t remain sealed in tidy packages. It grows. And grows ‘til the anger has turned into bitterness and the refusal to forgive not only affects your relationships with others, it strangles your relationship with God. Left to fester, these two deadly roots of sin metastasize into emotional, spiritual, and physical disorders.
This past week our GriefShare folks drew their individual Dagwood sandwiches applicable to their grief and I would suggest you do the same. Think about the state of your heart and create a drawing that applies to your grief and all its emotions today.
The rectangular shape on the bottom symbolizes the death of the person you lost. Every color strip indicates a piece of left-over anger, unforgiveness, secondary loss, past hurt, past grief, family dysfunction that you must add to your sandwich. When the left-over anguish comes to mind, if it still causes a twinge, slap it on the stack. The larger the pain the thicker the strip of color. Some may end up being burger sized. If there’s more than one death or loss, add an additional rectangular piece of bread (white fluff, of course). Then identify each slice you’ve added to your Dagwood sandwich-of-sorrow and list it beside your drawing.
How large is your sandwich?
How difficult and heavy is it to carry?
How long will it take you to surrender this load to Jesus?
God never fills full hands, especially those with fists clenched shut, screaming mine—trying to work through the ugly mess alone. I would suggest you take your drawing into the bathroom, close the door, and hold the drawing, with all the aches, pains, grief, and anger it represents, up to God and, speaking aloud, ask God to take this heavy load from you. Tell Him how difficult the chaos and despair is to bear. Choose to hold the stack tormenting your heart with open hands to the Father and give them all to Him.
And trust Him to take them from you. Don’t be an Indian-giver—asking God to take this turmoil then clutching the paper and tucking the stinky stuff back in your heart to fester and grow again. Let them go. All of them. You may need to make more than one trip to the bathroom to turn lose.
After you’ve given your sandwich-of-sorrow to God, ask Him to fill your hands with joy, thankfulness, and praise to Him! And He will answer your prayer, because He loves you, and He is faithful.
“Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7 NAS).
You may need hands on support in your quest for help, hope, and healing that only comes from the Lord Jesus Christ, through the power of the Spirit. Go online to http://www.GriefShare.org. to find the nearest GriefShare Support Group. Take your Dagwood Sandwich with you. The whole group has sorrow sandwiches, they just might not know they do—help them by sharing yours.
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MOVING THE ANCIENT BOUNDARIES 