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THINGS GOD’S TAUGHT ME IN 40YEARS OF MARRIAGE…PART TWO

Posted in A Nation Divided, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2016| 13 Comments »

Part Two of this post brings me to a truly enormous learning curve.

It’s not all about me.

family

And that’s one of the major problems we all face in today’s culture. Bombarded with the deception if it feels good—do it, we are led to believe we deserve to be happy.

A group of hot-shot educators began teaching this philosophy over fifty years ago. And we’ve allowed at least two generations of young people to believe life is all about them. They are special. And our tax dollars have paid and will continue to pay that costly bill. Parents bought the lie that their kid’s self-worth is the most important value we can teach them. And the P.C. police have pushed so far that everyone on the team gets a trophy…everybody’s a winner.

But we’ve failed to teach our children the Truth of the Word of God…without which, in the end, nobody wins. And you can’t teach what you don’t know, believe and practice.

God created the family first. He didn’t create government, entertainment, or even the church first. Family was and is first. A nation is no stronger than its families. Which leads me, after the fact, to consider the importance God places on the family. Satan dealt us a two-fisted-knock-out punch with no-fault divorce, and we cheered.  Now there is no difference between divorce rates inside or outside the church.

Am I qualified to speak on this issue? You bet I am. In the old days of all about me, I packed up two small children and hit the door of our house, running straight to the courthouse.  I chose divorce. I wasn’t happy. I made a wrong mate choice.  I couldn’t tolerate another minute. But forty plus years later, I’ve come to understand I’ll never know what God could have done in that marriage had I trusted and allowed God time to change both of us.

And the consequences of my choice bled a permanent stain into the lives of me, my ex-husband, our new spouses, our parents, our friends, my children, and goodness knows who else. Has God forgiven me? Oh my yes. God is full of mercy and grace and when we repent, He always forgives the sin. But those stinky consequences lurk alive and well in the lives of angry children and my new-found knowledge I didn’t trust God. I knew about Him, but I didn’t trust Him as Lord and Savior. Because, at that time, my life was all about me.

papa-and-the-kids

All the “buts” don’t matter. And we always have a list of them, don’t we? “But I made a wrong choice in the first place.”  “But he or she doesn’t meet my needs.”  “But I don’t love him or her anymore.” God is either sovereign over all things or He is sovereign over nothing. And when He said, I hate divorce, there was a reason. And, after the fact, the consequences have taught me—just like what He told Judah in Jeremiah 2:19:

“Your own wickedness will correct you, and your apostasies will reprove you. Know therefore and see that it is evil and bitter for you to forsake the Lord your God, and the dread of Me is not in you,” declares the Lord God of hosts.”

Guess what, when I walked out that door, I forsook God’s authority over my life. Leaning to my own understanding, I pushed the fear of disobeying Him behind me, and I toted all my dirty laundry into a second marriage and Dick drug his rotten baggage along too. Divorce solved nothing.  We had to begin all over again–with our old problems and a stack of new ones too. We had to learn the lessons of faith and trust and Holy Spirit produced love God knew we must learn, else there would be a longer string of broken homes, broken lives, and broken people. Perhaps even people lost forever in the darkness and lies of it’s all about me.

Television, songs, movies, and of course, FaceBook scream words of unforgiveness, anger, and hatred, and we mimic what we hear, but God’s Word says, “If you don’t forgive others, I won’t forgive you.” (Translation by DiAne). In recent years I’m learning what that really means and sometimes the lessons are really hard.

Jesus Christ forgave me for every single evil, hateful thing I’ve ever done—past, present, and future on that night in January. My despicable thoughts, actions, and deeds were nailed as an indictment against Him when He hung on that cross, suffered, and died for me.  How then can I refuse to forgive every person who has been ugly, evil, or mean to me? And that’s the next lesson after life is not all about me. Refusing to forgive each other is not an option in the heart and life of a believer.

mimi-and-kids

I am still learning, but have made great strides, in the dysfunctional use of my tongue. I don’t have to voice an opinion about everything and sometimes I just need to be silent. And most times, silence is preferred. I came from a loud and boisterous family and old habits and personality disorders die hard. I must choose to put them to death. Crucify them with the help of my Lord Jesus. Sure cuts down on the marital feuds and helps trend peace in my family and with others.

My ramblings, I hope, will strike a needful cord of help to some of you along the way. And, if you’d like, I’d love to have the opportunity to share more of those hard life lessons. Ours wasn’t always a peace-filled, loving forty years. I was taken to church from the nursery on. I walked the aisle at twelve with a group of girlfriends. But when we came to faith and trust in Christ in January of 1989, all things changed. Forever. The Spirit of God moved in, threw out a raft-a-garbage, tore down self-constructed walls, installed light that radiates into the dark, secret corners, and began a life-long remodeling job in our hearts, our home, and our lives.

Dick and I made a pledge to plaster prayer—together—into our daily lives. A praying plaster that cements that strong “cord of three strands” talked about in Ecclesiastes 4:12—The Father, Dick, and me—together ‘til He comes or we go to be with Him.  ‘Cause it’s real hard to be screaming hate and throwing a tantrum when the three of you are involved in a life-changing, life-long conversation together.

Hope your old-house make-over is well underway too! And I pray you younger couples, at whatever age and stage you find yourselves today, have the extreme joy and faith and trust to reach forty, fifty, maybe even sixty years together with your spouse and the Lord Jesus Christ.

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“I AM KING—YOU ARE NOTHING!”

Posted in A Nation Divided, tagged , , , , on March 7, 2015| 3 Comments »

I braked the car just shy of the entering lane of traffic, waiting for a lady to back out so I could park in her space. Another car turned into this entrance lane, so I pulled forward indicating I had been waiting for the space.

 
The young man in the flashy sports car entering Chick-Fil-A’s parking lot inched closer.

 
I inched closer.

 
He refused to glance my way and as the lady pulled away, this hip young man gave his car the gas and zipped into the space. Hanging in the air between us, his inference I am king—you are nothing.

 
His rudeness normally wouldn’t have gotten under my skin, butDSCF8285 Texas weather had been less than pleasant the past few weeks. With ice and snow on the ground and a chilling wind blowing, this space was closest to the door of the restaurant.

 

 
I murmured, pulled around the building to another vacant spot, gathered my purse and coat, and groused all the way into the building.

 
But he was not inside.

 
I looked out the window to see he had vacated the sought after spot and was leaving the parking lot.

 
My brain shifted to mental lecture concerning his selfish lack of consideration for others. After all, I was his senior by many years.
And God’s Spirit whispered, How many times have you been so self-absorbed you didn’t pay any attention to those around you? How many times have you shoved your way to the front of the line to get the best spot?

 
“But God,” was out of my mind’s mouth, when the truth of the Spirit’s words convicted my heart.

 
Yes, we’ve all allowed ourselves to be anesthetized by a me first way of life, so caught up in our own plans we don’t stop to assess someone else’s turn. Someone else’s needs. Someone else’s plight.

 
Jesus instructed, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”(Matthew 5:43, 19:19, Mark 12:31 NKJV).

 
What does that kinda love look like to you?

 
When I’m hungry, I like to eat. When I’m tired, I relish the comfort of my bed. When I’m lonely, I need a friend who will listen and care. If I’m wounded or troubled, I need help. During a storm, I need shelter. And all of the time I need Jesus.

 
’Cause I’m guilty of neglect. Guilty of failing to exhibit love and concern for those about me. Guilty of disobeying our Lord by displaying a me first attitude.

 
You get the picture.

 
But these attitudes begin in the heart; and God’s goodness can’t be imitated without the presence of God’s indwelling Holy Spirit.

 
Always conscious of the needs of people around Him, when the woman with the issue of blood barely touched the hem of Jesus’ garment, He was aware she touched Him.

 

Think about the scene—crowds surrounded Him from morning ’til night. He had to have been jostled and bumped and tired. But The Spirit discerned this woman’s desperate need and Jesus stopped to focus on her needs, her separation from God, and He healed her.

 
“Yeah,” you say. “…but He’s God.” Scripture tells us we are to be conformed to His image. In simple English, we are to grow up and act like Him.

 
Is it any wonder folks are bailing out of churches? Why should people want to be associated with us? We’re just like ’em, only worse—because we purport to be Christ followers.

 
And therein lies the problem. Our priorities are out of order and many within the church are deceived and calloused to God’s absolute truth. Shouldn’t those of us who claim the name of Jesus be different?

 
The same afternoon of the Chick-Fil-A incident, I listened to a report on Fox News about a mother who it seems has murdered her baby. A liberal young woman reporter, discussing the matter with Sheppard Smith, uttered this anguishing cry, “How could a mother kill her own baby?”

 
Well, why not?DSCF2693

 
We’ve allowed this generation to be taught It’s not a baby, it’s a blob. And with a swoop of the sword of their pens, federal judges have slashed and shredded what God’s truth told us from the beginning—Life begins before and during conception.

 
“Your eyes saw my substance being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written. The days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them” (Psalm 139:16 KJV).

 

 

Men and women have legally killed their babies since that fateful DSCF2691Rowe v. Wade decision and over 55 million babies have been murdered since 1973. And those who think they’re king have made abortion legal and normal in our generation.

 
Why should we be surprised when families rupture? When evil pervades this polluted nation. And when God’s word of judgment becomes our reality?

 
Now battles rage over another of God’s truths—Marriage is between a man and a woman. And federal judges stand with swords drawn and ready to continue slicing and dicing the Word of God and the fabric this nation was molded upon.

 
But again, these issues begin and end in our hearts.

 
DSCF2349Your way, my way, or God’s way?

 
And should Jesus tarry, I’m afraid the heart and mind of this period in history will best be remembered by the lie—I am king—you are nothing. Which retorts a truth many are too prideful to comprehend, but will spend eternity regretting—then you are king of nothing.

 

 

“And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:2-3 NKJV).

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