The second Christmas alone. I’ve been told the second year after losing a loved one is more difficult than the first because reality sets in. And I can confirm that diagnosis. I’ll be honest, when the sun sets the most difficult part of my day begins and lasts until I turn out the lights and close my eyes in sleep. I hear many of you saying “Amen.” Then there’s Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh why can’t we just mark these two months off the calendar and slide right into January?
This past Friday was a gruesome day. Two family tragedies colored my day wretched and by nightfall I was a befuddled mess of tears and crying out to God for help. Have any of y’all ever been there? It’s not a pleasant place to be…a very ugly cry day.
But we serve an Almighty, Magnificent God who can take words written over fifty or more years ago and place them in my current devotional book, “Streams In The Desert,” on the exact day I need to hear them. For me that happened last night…December 20th…I was shocked, but comforted. Teary-eyed but finally closed my eyes full of His peace.
I’d like to share with you what the devotion said that changed my life and hope it will change yours.
“I am not alone, for my Father is with me.“ (John 16:32)
“It is certainly unnecessary to say that turning conviction into action requires great sacrifice. It may mean renouncing or separating ourselves from specific people or things, leaving us with a strange sense of deprivation and loneliness. Therefore the person who will ultimately soar like an eagle to the heights of the cloudless day and live in the sunshine of God must be content to live a relatively lonely life.
There are no birds that live in as much solitude as eagles, for they never fly in flocks. Rarely can even two eagles be seen together. And a life that is dedicated to God knows divine fellowship, no matter how many human friendships have had to be forfeited along the way.
God seeks “eagle people,” for no one ever comes into the full realization of the best things of God in his spiritual life without learning to walk along with Him. We see Abraham alone “in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities…near Sodom.” (Genesis 13:12).
Moses, although educated in all the wisdom of Egypt, had to spend forty years alone with God in the desert. And Paul, who was filled with all the knowledge of the Greeks and who sat “at the feet of Gamaliel” (Acts 22:3 KJV), was required, after meeting Jesus, to go “immediately into Arabia” (Galatians 1:17) to learn of the desert life with God.
May we allow God to isolate us, but I do not mean the isolation of a monastery. It is in the experience of isolation that the Lord develops an independence of life and of faith so that the soul no longer depends on the continual help, prayers, faith and care of others. The assistance and inspiration from others are necessary, and they have a place in a Christian’s development, but at times they can actually become a hindrance to a person’s faith and welfare.
God knows how to change our circumstances in order to isolate us. And once we yield to Him and He takes us through an experience of isolation, we are no longer dependent upon those around us, although we still love them as much as before. Then we realize that He has done a new work within us and that the wings of our soul have learned to soar in loftier air.
We must dare to be alone, in the way that Jacob had to be alone for the Angel of God to whisper in his ear, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel” (Genesis 32:28), in the way that Daniel had to be left alone to see heavenly visions; and in the way that John had to be banished to the Isle of Patmos to receive and record “the revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him” (Revelation 1:1).
“He has trodden the winepress alone…” (Isaiah 63:3) for us. Therefore, are we prepared for a time of “glorious isolation” rather than to fail Him?”
I hope these words help you realize that loneliness is our clue to cry out to God, then sit quietly before Him and pour our hearts out to Him. In this difficult time God is transforming us into the likeness of our Lord Jesus…fast as He can, but slow as He must.
My attitude about loneliness has taken an abrupt about-face today…and I hope forever. Because the loneliness will be replaced by the fullness and confidence of God’s love in each of our hearts.
Let me hear from you…DiAne
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Truth and wisdom from one of my favorite author friends, Julie Cosgrove!
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This is true. I have (and am) currently living a desert time. My family does not understand it. Nor do they understand the honesty it brings me to. But without being cruel it is necessary.
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I totally agree! I think that first year, we just have too much to think about and take care of and don’t take the time we need to process our feelings. Sometimes reality is slow to set in.
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