MOVING THE ANCIENT BOUNDARIES

Fourteen years—fourteen years since that first Christmas without our daughter. We think we’ve healed, but the decorations go up, the carols play, and we’re swept back into that emotional time warp of holidays past and once again deep scars of grief are probed and our hearts ache.

Last year was a major milestone for me, during an unexpected meltdown, a dear friend reminded me, “You don’t have to keep going down the same road.”

For thirteen years I drug out the same tree, put everything in the same place, administered CPR to old memories, choosing to cling to the past, choosing to hang each one of those gut-wrenching ornaments on our tree. And each year the process became more difficult. And I found out the hard way, it hurts when God has to pry my fingers off the past in order to move me forward today.

Two December blogs of 2013, Is Jesus Enough and Storm to Storm—Faith to Faith, https://dianegates.wordpress.com/ recount what happened and how God used my dear friend’s words to bless my heart and change my life.

This year we have a new tree, many of the same ornaments, but those scab-ripper ornaments are packed away, waiting for children and grandchildren’s trees, where they will be treasures not idols. I’ve chosen to take a new, less bumpy road through this year’s Christmas celebration.

I don’t see any raised hands, but I see some of you reaching for Kleenex, and I see and hear your sniffles. And I know if this is your first Christmas after the loss of one you love, you wish you’d gone to sleep before Thanksgiving and could stay in bed with the covers over your head ‘til January of 2015.

Scripture tells us our emotions mirror God’s emotions because we were created in the image of God. We read of His anger, His forgiveness, and His love. We’re in good company.

Consider the turmoil God must have suffered nine months prior to that special night when the Spirit of God overshadowed Mary. For the first time ever, the Father, Son, and Spirit were physically separated. The Son left the realm of His Father’s glory, relinquishing His rights, His comfort, and confined Himself to a pitiful human body so you and I and our loved ones might live.

The separation was the Father’s choosing, planned before the foundation of the world, and the Son was willing. Willing to pay the price.

But I wonder if knowing all the whys and wherefores made it any less difficult for God? If you had known beforehand when and how your loved one would die, would that have made your grief more bearable?

Father, Son, and Spirit knew the necessity of the sacrifice and the cost of the victory—down to every lash Jesus would endure. But as the time arrived for that miraculous conception did God experience sadness and grief over the pain and horror He knew His Son must experience before the final victory was won?

We glamorize and commercialize the manger scene in Bethlehem. There were no wise men from the East that night with the shepherds. They arrived two years later. Our little nativity sets are beautiful and touching. But I’m afraid we’ve lost the awe, the deep sacrifice, and the eternal majesty of that night.

Dr. Paul David Tripp says: “God’s story is a life-death-life story. And we are in the middle of that story, having just experienced the life-death cycle thus far.”

So what better time to consider this miracle of God’s story than during the pain and sorrow of our own loss? And what better time to be quiet before God, asking Him to teach and ground us in the truth? His Son, His only Son, entered this world to lie in a manger, die on a cross, to become our forever Savior and King!

God’s amazing life-death-life story.

SILENT NIGHT—HOLY NIGHT keeps whispering in my soul. The night angels brought the message of God’s good will rather than His wrath. The night God announced the arrival of the long promised Messiah. The night the angels sang to bleating lambs and lowly shepherds. But all heaven knew there would be great pain and sorrow on this earth and in our lives before joy reigned forever.

“An angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were greatly afraid. And the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be to all people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find the baby wrapped in cloths, and lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will towards men” (Luke 2:9-14 KJV).

I know your soul groans and you hurt, but in the depths of your dark night of grief will you accept comfort, knowing God has experienced and understands what you’re going through? I know from years experience—yes, you can.

And God’s message to you and me today is the same word He sent to those frightened shepherds. Don’t be afraid. Jesus is with you. He completed the Father’s life-death-life plan established before the foundation of the world. He knows your pain and sorrow and is engaged in enlarging your heart’s capacity for His joy through this roto-rooter of grief. You can rest in Him. You can rely on Him. You can trust Him. He loves you and promises to wrap you in His comfort and care ‘til we can raise our hands to worship and praise King Jesus!

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