THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BACK IN 2015, but is still as true today as it was then. August 22nd of this year my husband of almost 43 years went home to be with Jesus, and I can tell you everything I’ve learned leading GriefShare for the past 17 years is helpful, but in no way softens the blow of loosing the one you love. But,I’m still making a plan. I spent Thanksgiving with longtime friends in Salado and have made plans for Christmas! I hope you will too! HAVE A BLESSED AND THANKFUL CHRISTMAS!
Those of us right-brained folks are bored to yawns by the word plan. Plan sounds so structured. So slap-your-hand-over-your-mouth tedious. And until we lost a daughter fifteen years ago, I had always hoofed it for the nearest exit when anyone mentioned a regimented plan.
But grief has schooled me in a few lessons of wisdom that have enabled our journey toward a new normal to be much easier. Like I’ve written about in the past, you don’t have to keep traveling the same road. Take a new route to and beyond your destination.
And that’s exactly what my Richard and I have done the past several years. Holidays are hard. Yes, even after fifteen years. Even though we’ve settled into our new normal there are some journeys filled with gobble-you-up potholes we’ve chosen not to endure.
We’ve chosen a new road. A road filled with unexpected twists and turns. A delightful road—our road less traveled.
That road took us to Seattle, Washington, this year for Thanksgiving. Yep, we made a deliberate plan. Three years ago we escaped to Durango, Colorado. Year before last was Bar Harbor, Maine, and this year Seattle. Don’t have a clue about next year—yet.
We book a flight very early on Thanksgiving morning. No brainer, who’s in the airport at 6 a.m. on Thanksgiving day? Just remember to make reservations for parking your car. All the spots are taken by Thanksgiving morning, unless you’ve made a plan. And we’re wherever by dinnertime and there are no hours of shopping or cooking or cleaning. Just time for hubs and me to enjoy ripping down new scenic highways.
This old Texas gal was amazed at the size of the trees in the great northwest. Made our Texas ones look like anemic little bushes. We love seafood and Seattle’s finest certainly satisfied our appetites. However, we always arrive home starving for great Mexican food, chicken fried steak and Texas barbecue.
Being a artist, writer, and photographer, you can guess what I spent my holiday doing. Seattle is home to Chihully Gardens, Mt. Rainer, The Ballard Locks, and ferry boats to everywhere. Thank goodness for huge camera cards! I hope you will enjoy my journey these next few weeks. And maybe even consider making your own special plan.
The mountains, the rivers, the flavors of new enlarge my heart and mind to think beyond myself and my sorrow. And while it’s not traditional drumsticks and dressing, we’ve met wonderful people from all over the world, and we’re able to look forward to our new tradition.
If you’re struggling during the holidays, I hope you’ll consider selecting your own new plan.
MOVING THE ANCIENT BOUNDARIES 
DiAne, thanks for the beautiful pictures.
I understand the pain that sits in the heart, though it’s deaden a bit, it’s still there. My daughter has been in Heaven for about 20yrs. Each year, I take out her homemade Christmas ornaments and hang them. It my way of spending the holiday’s with her, until I see her in Heaven.
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Mary Lou, yes and those memories can never be taken away. But I believe God gives us opportunities to come alongside those new to this journey, put our arms around them, and walk with through the early dark days of grief. After all, we’ve been there and know the value of having someone care. Jesus allows us to be His arms of comfort and I know that’s what you do too. Have a blessed Christmas! ❤
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Wonderful photos. You have a great eye.
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What a beautiful post, DiAne. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely words and spectacular photos!
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Thank you ladies for your kind comments. I’m just the clicker scribe…God provides the canvas! ❤
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June is the planner. I just go along with her plan! 😉
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I can’t even fathom loosing a child. It’s brought me to tears just thinking about what it must have been like for you, and what it must be like during this season.
Beautiful post and pictures! I’ll be praying for continued peace for you and your family.
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Emily, one of the first questions I always ask a new GriefShare group is, “What is the most awful grief you can go through?” And they always start with loss of a child, and rank them downward in their own opinions. I remind them the correct answer is, “The one you’re currently going through.” There are no “worse” griefs. Some have more layers, like murder, suicide, but Jesus tells us death is an enemy. An enemy that will soon be defeated once and for all time. Jesus said all deaths are awful…there wasn’t supposed to be death. But He has promised to never leave or forsake us. And I can testify with absolutely certainty…He spoke the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Is it hard? Yes. But we have the Lord God Almighty to see us through. My daughter is completely healed and her life was complete at age 28. Do I understand? No, I don’t have to. God understands. And as long as I stay focused on Jesus, I’m fine and blessed too.
May you have a wonderful celebration. And just think, next year we may all be with Jesus to celebrate His incarnation, face to face!
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I love your statement “…grief has schooled me in a few lessons of wisdom.” So true!
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Yes, Carlene. And it’s a tough school master. I’m just so grateful for the lessons God has allowed me to learn and keep on learning lessons I would never have learned otherwise. And I’m thankful. Thankful for so many things.
Blessings for you and your family during this most wonderful of all celebrations. ❤
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DiAne you never cease to amaze me, you are so gifted;and your love of God has helped you with your tragic loss of your daughter. I just can not imagine the loss of a child, losing my parents in there sixties brought me to my knees. Being the oldest of six with the youngest twenty years younger, all the responsibility was mine. Thanks be to God one moves on slowly but with difficulty. Your photography is so calming to me and your writings are the best.
Blessing to YOU and your family.
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Writing is such a lonely business, Mary. Until sweet friends like you come along and verify that what we’re doing makes a difference. God is indeed our hope, our assurance, our comfort when the difficult times come. He tells us to be thankful in all things. And I have learned to be thankful for the things He taught me during this painful process. I have also learned to be thankful that Michelle didn’t suffer. She was here one minute and in His presence the next. I am thankful my daughter knew and loved her Lord Jesus. Do I miss her? Oh my yes. And I long for the time when we will sit in His presence together. What joy! Thank you precious lady.
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I lost my husband 17 years ago and the holidays can still be a hard time for me. I can’t imagine losing a child. Like you, I have found that life may be different than I had planned but that it is still a good life. God does make a way for life to go on. I enjoyed reading about your journey.
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Ann, one of the verses that refocused my attention leaped off the page one day…Deuteronomy 29:29, which states: “The secret things belong to the Lord. The things revealed belong to you and to your children forever.”
As I read I heard the Spirit in me ask, “Do you trust Me?” I love to tell you I said with strong voice and committed heart yes. No, it was an idy-bitty voice that replied like a sigh, “Yes Lord, I trust you.”
But that was a truth I’ve held to like a life-ring. Our daughter’s death was one of those secret things I’ll never understand, but God does. And I trust Him!
Hugs and blessings for a joy-filled Christmas! ❤
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